


Your Own Heart As Signal

by Nevanna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Dreamsharing, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Open Relationships, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 03:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevanna/pseuds/Nevanna
Summary: Rose is trying to find her way through the woods.





	Your Own Heart As Signal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [galacticproportions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticproportions/gifts).



> This story was fills the "Sadness" square for Ladies Bingo. More importantly, it is a gift for Galacticproportions, with whom I am grateful and happy to share this fandom, and countless other things besides.
> 
> The title comes from the song "Level Up" by Vienna Teng, and general inspiration comes from the TLJ tie-in novel _Cobalt Squadron_.

_The trees grow densely enough to block out the sky, and Rose isn’t sure how many turns they’ve taken. She races to keep up with her sister, but Paige is always at least ten steps ahead, moving fearlessly along the forest path, her laughter drifting back like the tail of a comet._

_The more Rose pushes herself, the greater the distance between them grows, and the more she wants to shout a warning_ (we’ve gone too far, you won’t come back from this) _or a plea_ (be careful, please listen, don’t leave me) _but whatever she might have said is swallowed by the thunder of a thousand explosions._

Rose opens her eyes. Her heart hammers as if it’s still trying to fuel her desperate run through the wilderness of her dreams, the only place where she’ll hear Paige laugh, ever again. 

Each sob makes her tremble against the other body in the narrow bunk. She feels Rey’s lips brush the crown of her head, and lifts her face to seek the other soft mouth in the darkness. Her sobs turn into sighs as Rey returns her kisses.

After that goes on for several heartbeats, Rose realizes that Rey’s face is as damp with tears as her own. “You saw it all, didn’t you?” she asks.

They’ve been through this before. Everyone understands by now – though not without some uncomfortable squirming – that Rey doesn’t witness her comrades’ dreams on purpose. Even so, she goes still and tense, as if she’s waiting for Rose to scramble out of the bunk and stomp away to spend the rest of the night with Finn, or by herself. “I did,” she replies simply, and then relaxes when Rose doesn’t move. 

“Sometimes I don’t remember right away,” Rose admits. “That’s she’s really gone.” Though she knows better than to say as much to Rey, sometimes Rose’s mind plays crueler tricks on itself than what anybody could inflict with the Force. Each time she closes her eyes and finds herself back in that forest, she believes that if she ever catches up with her sister, she’ll wake up in a world where Paige survived their attack on the First Order’s Dreadnought, where they can share jokes about season changes on Hays Minor or talking fathiers, where Rose can be proud of Paige’s bravery without also feeling angry or unmoored. “I thought I was ready to go on without her.”

“I think that’s exactly what we _are_ doing.” Rey strokes Rose’s back, drops kisses like tiny points of light over her shoulders. “What do you need right now?”

Maybe, the next time she has this dream, or a worse one, Rose will uncurl from wherever she’s fallen asleep, and turn her attention to the _Falcon’s_ engines, tightening this and connecting that, trusting her hands at least as much as her head, until the other passengers stir and a new day begins. 

Right now, she doesn’t want to leave this circle of warmth, this certainty… “This,” she whispers back.


End file.
